Sex In Amman
[I’ve been writing this post in my head for awhile now. If you have happened to stumble upon it after googling “sex in amman” then this is NOT what you’re looking for.]
Since I’ve come back the number one question I’ve been asked is “how has Amman changed?”. My typical reply was until recently “the buildings”. Yes, in the past 5 years perhaps the buildings of Amman have changed. Big deal.
Now what I’ve concluded is that the sexual revolution in Amman has been hands down the biggest change in the city this past half decade.
The stories I hear are some that I refused to believe until I witnessed a few things first hand. Sex has become so commonplace in West Amman that it’s not even funny, it’s actually quite sad. It’s not only the normalization of sex but the ease in which it’s available. A night at the club is pretty much a guarantee for most people. Relationships have become sexually based; or in other words, hooking up for the sole reason of having sex.
Guys who have one night stands at least once a week is the new norm. It will take a minimum of one drink, one dance, perhaps several sentences of conversation to seal the deal.
New ways to get around old ways…
A group of friends will each pay 50JDs a month to rent an apartment somewhere in Rabia or Khalda or Tla Ali, as a make out joint; a sexual clubhouse, an intercourse timeshare.
Certain places are socially stained with rumors. Whispers, known for its great steaks, is also the place where a lot of married women conduct their extra-marital (affairs) business. That’s just one example.
Specific clubs have specific times, specific windows of opportunity if you will. Guys, well educated in this field, will drive from one to another; hunting.
And when I say ‘guys’ I’m actually also referring to girls.
It used to be incredibly difficult for a male to “score” and back in high school the successful ones were made into legends. Now, their actions are peanuts compared to the norm. Primarily because back then girls closed most of the windows of opportunity that are wide open today (no pun intended). Many females would argue against the existence of “sexually-suggestive” or “provocative” fashion, but if you still think it doesn’t exist then there’s a list of places you can just to step outside that bubble. The fashion is of course backed up with an attitude; an approach.
Notice here that I’m not assigning blame to any specific gender here: both are victims and both are perpetrators; if such roles are to be assigned at all.
The reason I call it a sexual revolution is simple.
Countries such as the U.S. had progressive sexual evolutions that occurred in stages from mainly the 1950’s upwards. Ours was a revolution that happened virtually over night. We’ve gone from one extreme to the other and the results have been noticeable. There are those that would argue “it’s always been there, but undercover”, I would counter that with the fact that it really doesn’t count if it’s “undercover” and also the fact that it was no way near the level of where it’s at today. No way.
Random individuals hooking up for 10 minutes and that’s it. Forget religious rules of the Islamic world, there doesn’t even seem to be the 3-date rule of the Western world.
Girls as young as 15; married women as old as 45. From stylish just-came-from-the-salon hair, to the hijab adorned ladies. From virgins to mothers. And guys from all over, but mostly those who drive nice cars and spend money like they don’t care.
My best friend has a relative who we can call a “smooth operator”. And seeing this guy in action is quite the sight. His looks do not get him far at all, but perhaps his charismatic and fearless behavior gets him into bed with a random girl at least every other day or so. He tells us that after 2 minutes of conversation with someone he will put the invitation on the table straight out. This is in the cases where he doesn’t get the offer first within those 2 minutes (5, if its a very pretty girl who’s throwing him off his game a bit). He tells us that the first question he’ll be asked by a girl is whether he has an apartment.
You kind of have to see it to really, really, believe it.
But what happens now?
Do things spiral further down that direction or does it only set the stage for another rise in ultra-conservatism? I wouldn’t be surprised to see both things happening simultaneously.
We are swinging between the extremes and the middle ground has been pretty much lost. It’s become very difficult for someone to maneuver in this environment without leaning and thus falling in a certain direction.
So when I get asked the second biggest question these days: “how are you adjusting”, I say “barely”. It’s become difficult to lead a moderate life. I’m lucky to be surrounded with a particular group of friends that share common interests and that makes things easier. But we are bombarded with the extremes every time we go out and we spend half the time just looking for a place to escape to.
Where do we go from here?
The answer is too scary for me to even think about.
Could I get the names of these clubs? I vacation every year in Jordan and it would be awesome to see it with my own eyes, because I still don’t believe it and I have heard the same thing from other people.
Hey Nas,
Has it ever occurred to you that this maybe the norm … and we are crazy?
Sex is a human instinct, religion is not.
Just a thought
Just to clarify things, when you refer to pulling a girl from a club, do you mean normal girls that are doing this for fun or girls who are paid for the service (prostitutes?)? cuz if you pay then I guess this has been around for ages now, but if you can go on a night out and land yourself a casual one night stand with a Jordanian chick then that’s what you call NEW!!!
Could i get the names too. I’ve been hardly looking for a good club and I’m willing to try new ones.
Haha, love the comments
Anyway, I think most of the people I know are in the middle. I have met a lot of people on the way-too-conservative side, and very few who are on the extreme other side, but 95% of my friends are in the middle.
HAHA omg people you want the names of the clubs?
Nas, I may be wrong but I’m guessing these weren’t the types of reactions you were expecting from people. Again, I may be wrong.
We are totally witnessing a sexual revolution my friend: and I feel your frustration. It’s not the perfect storm scenario, it’s plain oxymoronic, dirty under-belly , what-the-hell-happened-to-sweet-ol’-Amman type change.
Although I can only imagine how wierded out you and your guy-next-door type friends are, I will shed some of my annoying and eternal optimism upon you (behold!)
1) I was driving my beloved teta the other day, from shmeisani to airport road (she loves the dead sea; mud for her knees and argeeleh at the Marriott are her favorite things after jiddo passed away),anyway, having just returned to Amman after a year at Georgetown, I was complaining to her about how things like driving in Amman drives one nuts. She replied and said: teta amman battalat zay zaman (amman is not like it used to be), before everyone knew everyone else, know look around you, kibrat amman (Amman has expanded), Allah y3een il nas, fawda. (erm, may God help the people, chaos.)
I guess in that random ramble came the realization that Amman is rapidly urbanizing. Iraqi and Lebanese immigrants, boys from the Gulf all contribute to making up a more … interesting society. Since when does the Parliament need to enforce an anti-money laundring bill unless the phenomenon were eating our economic situation alive? Socioeconomic and political factors have unleashed the evils of Pandora’s box upon Jordanian society.
In your entry you longed for moderation: the one thing that defines my growing up in a city like Amman and in a family like mine. (I remember a time last summer when I would pray 3asr then go to the automobile club to swim in a mixed pool, feeling no contradiction, rememebring that this is who we are, we are faithful people, but we enjoy or lives and aren’t backwards or anything like that.)
At a crossroads today now that Amman has noticably “revolutionzed” i wonder: perhaps it’s time for one to redefine moderation. That is, the revolution is inevitable. What your role in it is what counts the most. Pathetically, I am reminded of Spider Man’s 3 PROFOUND (hehe)finishing note here: everyone has a choice in life. I find it exciting to be living in such a dysfunctional city at this time and day! I realized that moderation is so much more than doing (praying vs. swimming), it’s the life of the mind, it’s something like being comfortable (not insecure) about being with friends that share your same interests/lifestyle and magnifying that advantage. You have the means to lead a progressive revolution. You, are what Rotana-obsessed Arab teeny boppers are not, and you are not one to dwell on the halal or makrooh length of your dress or switch your Oral B for a miswaq. No, my friend, you represent the wasat. Celebrate that, ignore the rest. Maybe you can revolutionize a moderate Jordanian youth movement! Maybe I can..
As someone who comes from a “liberal” country, here’s a word of advice for you: don’t believe everything you hear. If a guy told you he slept with 3 girls, he might as well have done it in his dreams.
If a girl brags that she’s had so much sex that she’s bored of it, there’s a good chance she’s still a virgin under peer pressure (think the Character in American Beauty)
Unless you went in a bar and “sealed the deal” yourself in a few sentences, don’t put your money in the mouths of braggers.
Stass: no i’m not referring to prostitutes here.
Roba: that’s a rarity these days, at least it feels that way
kadabbi: i honestly don’t have the time to lead a social movement but you make a valid point. i think it’s more about the shock value of such rapid change in a small time frame.
mustapha: thanks, although i’m very very aware of exaggerations in jordan, but it’s not an either/or situation like you described. amman is one of those towns where simple observations can provide the empirical evidence you need and many of the people i’m referring to do not brag at all.
The components of the amman community has changed alot in the last 3-4 years, refugees or as I call the “immigrants” brought a new life style, when a city absorbs 750,000 people in two years which is almost 50% increase in population you will not only see revolution you will witness a big bang of new behaviours, the middle is lost as you said and the extremes are gaining ground, and those two extremes are now having extra extremism growing..
Good luck!
Naseem, you spoke my mind.
And I agree with you, it did happen overnight. We do not know how to deal with it. It is all new to us. I think people are excited about it because they have been supressed (Sexually) for a long time. It is like taking a who has been lost in the desert for a month to a buffet. He would go crazy, and this is what is happening: We are going crazy. The fact that people there do not even get it or do it right (Leaving aside religion and Islamic teachings) is quite sad as you mentioned. Yet people are over the moon; yay now I get to make out in public, and people are actually okay with it!
I wonder when things will change back … Will they ever?
Taking a man*
(Ugh when will we be allowed to edit our comments)
Guys who have one night stands at least once a week is the new norm. It will take a minimum of one drink, one dance, perhaps several sentences of conversation to seal the deal.
This sounds pretty crazy, to me. And I’m old enough to have been a “beneficiary” of the pre-HIV sexual revolution here in the US. Barely. The only guys I ever knew who were that good at getting themselves laid were US Marines, who had a lot of experience in clubs and dives all over the world. If this is an accurate description I’d say you guys are in store for a massive social upheaval. That’s what happened here.
A couple questions come to mind.
How safe is everyone playing?
Who usually carries (you know what I mean)?
How are unwanted pregnancies dealt with?
Is there any Sex Edu. in schools, or HIV/STD health awareness?
I genuinely appreciate meeting good wholesome Arab girls. It’s hard enough to meet girls here in Perth, yet alone ones that aren’t corrupt.
I’m sure you are aware of the fact that when it comes to guys talking about this 98% of the talk is BS, the 2% is highly doubted.
I mean how on earth did Whispers become a joint for cheating married women? I mean if this is well known wont any doubting husband bee checking the place regularly? (Did all these playful women had a meeting and agreed on that place?
Anyways, yest it’s changing, and it’s not only in Jordan, it’s all over the world! Thanks to TV, the Internet, absent parents,big brothers, f… Liberal Media , Hollywood.
I don’t think things are going into that direction, so no need for the IAF dudes to come in saying: Amman is the new Babel (pun intended) , vote for us to stay cool, we’ll keep your women in home.
I’m sure that you do realize that bars, night clubs attendees are like 0.00005% of the population? And 0.0005% of those in the bars want to go home with you and have some like-those-cool-actors-on-TV quality time?
Usually those girls who has been around in most cases are messed up, and end up unmarried. I find most Ammani girls conservative when it comes to full sexual intercourse (lets not go into details about the other stuff that is actually happening)
Now enjoy the extra traffic on your blog
yeah just for the record.
The number of unwanted kids left at hospitals in Eastern Amman is much more than that of W.Amman
Zaid they leave them around the corner near a hospital ER, police station. Some would actually go directly to a shelter telling them the kid is out of wedlock (usually W.Ammanis) please take him/her.
Sometimes, unwanted kids of traditional marriages are left , due to personal problems between the parents (divorced)
This is so, so sad. There were enough broken hearted/walking dead in Amman.
Firas, that’s appalling.
I could agree that Amman has become more open and comfortable, and more in terms with sex in that sense, but still, remember that guys love to brag and to BS. I never really tried popping up such a question to a girl after 5 minutes of talking to her, but it all sounds too familiar. Many guys told me about a certain relative, or a certain someone they know, that did get it on with girls by such pursuit, but looking at the mentality of girls in Amman, that it pretty hard to swallow (excuse the pun). However, I wouldn’t rule out the premise that such hook-ups take place after a couple of drinks, and after a conversation. But hooking up in the middle of the street, in broad day-light, in five minutes; sounds more similar to fake-bragging than to truth. It’s so easy for a guy to boast: “Oh, I’ve hooked up with X chick the other day, and you know what, after 5 minutes of talking, she just wanted me, she couldn’t keep herself away from me.”
Having said all that Nasim, count how many couples are there in Amman, and that would be your measure of how much sex we’re having. I would be relieved to laern that sex is on the rise here, because I truly believe that the lack of sex is the number one factor in our frustration and failures as a society at large. We’re so uptight when it comes to sex, and we still insist on treating it as taboo, and as lady submits to man, rather than addressing it as a need, and a mutual exchange of emotion (even one night stands are not just pure play, there is still an emotional aspect to it, from both sides).
to whom it may concern.
i have no intention on writing a post that is based solely on bragging and exaggerations. this is based on what i’ve seen and not just heard. it took me 4 months to break the bubble of deniability.
it’s easy to brush it off as mere exaggerations but go out to any of these places and observe.
pheras: suffice to say i completely disagree with your opinion as to the source of our problems, but that opinion is your own.
This is a very intriguing article …
I had this thought for a while, I just couldn’t settle on couple of things. The first that the norms have really changed, and the rest were related to other social changes.
The city has grown and many things become abundant compared to rare occasions
Add to that that we grew up as well, and the people we hang out with changed. The kind of topics and discussions have also matured. Since high school when everything was taboo, to now when we are able to openly share and discuss matters…
Multiply that by the number of people who lie to brag about their adventures ESPECIALLY in front of people coming from the west and you get a rather inflated number.
I don’t know … it might be all of the above. There might be even way more reasons…
On the flip side, I remember almost 10 or 12 years ago, the situation wasn’t any worse. Many guys were scoring, and people promptly predicted the end of the world… I guess it depends on who you hang out with
sigh.. i always said iza ijak il 3eib min ahl il 3eib biba66el 3eib.. thats why i never cud get my head around the idea of it coming from arabs.. jordanian/palestinian ppl in precise..
there is a high level of prostitution in dubai that isnt really a secret, i’ve heard of guys flying from jordan in and spending every dime they have for the sole reason of experiencing the nightlife and russians/tunisians/chinese/arab/local prostitutes that dubai offers.. i can understand that. its their job. they get paid to get laid. bas what i dont understand is what happened in amman, is compromising one’s reputation/religion/principles becoming so easy?
ana 2refet when i went last july, it was REVOLting but i guess that’s phonetically 2/3rd the REVOLution..
important subject …
i lived in Irbid for my university years … in areas populated by univ students … and what Nas said i saw over and over again ,,, i think anyone who lived in Irbid would agree … and of course i see that in amman alot … and i know people like the poeple Nas described …
Its undeniable …
the many contradictions this country holds is a main reason for that … but to really find out the reason behind such drastic changes can only be concluded after thorough analysis of the situation.
and i dont agree that this is only in west amman … and i dont agree its only in amman … Irbid Salt Aqaba even Karak join the flock … i used to get stories form trusted sources also abt what happens in Girl Dorms … it is not pretty ( maybe for Joey it is :> )
I agree with you Nas that things have changed dramatically quickly in the past couple of years, but I also agree with Roba that most of the people I know are in the middle.
I would say that even if guys brag and exaggerate, the nature of bragging and exaggerating has changed quite a lot and that does indicate something… it’s no longer just the suspicious massage centers and what not.
I’d dare say though that our society’s view of sex is still very much focused on the hymen, and that as long as that remains intact then everything else is trivial.
And I want to reiterate the question on protective measures, sex education, HIV/Aids awareness. I think it’s about time information on these issues is made more available and open for education and discussion… it’s no point remaining in denial and feeling that by talking about safety meastures you are encouraging people to go for it… if they’re gonna do it they will do it anyway, so better to be safe rather than have unwanted children lying in hospital wards.
Everything you said is true and happens, but it’s absolutely not the norm yet. I’m in the middle of all this, I know people from all kinds in Amman, guys with beards to the ground to future porn stars, and I can comfortably say that what you’re talking about happens to at most 5% of the total number of youths between 15-30. Seeing things you would never imagine to see in Amman with your own eyes is what gives you the impression that it’s the norm, it’s still not the norm for 95% of guys in Amman to go to nightclubs and bars in the first place, how about getting laid in 5 minutes! I can compare it with cars in Amman; if you take a tour between Abdoun, Swaifeyeh, and Dair Ghbar, you’ll definitely get the impression that Jordan is a rich oil oasis, you will say that the norm is to have a car not less than $20,000 in Amman, even though you live in Amman, and you know it’s not true, but when you see a decent number of evidences in one place or two, you start thinking that what you live in isn’t the norm.
I’m not going to talk about bragging, simply because for those who cannot get it, even bragging has changed A LOT, and that alone is a big evidence on that a lot has changed.
Welcome to neo-liberalism, the future of the Arab world. No democracy, no equality, no freedoms, no industry, to technology, no culture. Just sex and booze and consumerism. personal freedoms with no political freedoms, consumption with no production, sex with no commitment. Welcome to the Hedonist Kingdom of Jordan.
that was a great post!
its strange how th youth deal with such stuff and having sex before holy relation (marriage) as its an easy and its fine! why not!! we are having fun.
most of the cases i worked with, when i asked them why? most of them girls!!
the answers: he loves me (tb3an im sure he is not)
its fun, great feelings, ect…….
stupid answers..
after all what will save us and save me as a girl we have to have foundation, Principles and beleives so we can stand on it!! whether we are good or bad, happy or sad!! nothing will move us from what we beleive or what we are, its not just relegion, relegion without faith and work nothing!!! for both Islam and Christian! Both of them against adultery.
Parents shud have free time for their own kids!! i beleive that they dont know anything about them or their relations!
anyway i posted many articles about such stuff, im so into these im trying to help youth in jordan as much as i could:)
http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2007/1/141053.html
http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2006/12/131725.html
http://www.wedzzone.com/archive/2006/5/44257.html
Great insight on this matter,
I don’t think I can call it a sexual revolution, and I don’t blame the “liberal media” - because all it does it makes you think and pushes you to do nothing, it comes down to the person.
It’s really hard for me to believe that girls in Amman are giving up so fast for casual sexual relationships, REALLY hard. I don’t know If I have to apply that it’s there and “undercover”, probably I’ll lose my credibility! hehe, bass inno think about what girls think and the unfortunate consequences that could happen to her.
If they love each other, decided to do it
at least let them do it safe - use a condom
balash to spread God knows what in the country! LOL
Bring it on, loosen up people; you might just enjoy it (that is if you can reconcile it with your retentive morality)
Does anybody have the name of the clubs?
I think you have to keep in mind that one of the biggest ways people have changed in Amman is in the way they talk and what they say.
Today, many people care about portraying a certain image more than anything else. In order to do that, people who used to be honest in the past have had to start lying, even to their best friends, in the present. Inventing stories and exaggerating events. A simple smile becomes a flirt. A small conversation becomes a heated intimate discussion. A smile becomes a kiss. A kiss becomes full fledged intercourse.
Moll Flanders, what do you mean “Bring it on, loosen up people; you might just enjoy it?” are you saying Thailand or Brazil or South Africa or a host of other countries who loosened up are enjoying AIDS, STDs, illegitimate births, teen pregnancy. do you want to turn jordan into a red district for the Gulfy horny guys like Morocco? is that your idea of loosening it up? remember, it’s all about the balance. we are not Sweden or Canada, we are a country with no balance. either we get the whole Western package (rights, technology, culture, liberalism) or we go Iran route. At least they have technology and culture and political freedoms and yes national dignity. they are a country where the top leadership does not prostitute their country for money. (opps, excuse the Freudian…).
You know its interesting that you brought this up. I was appalled when I went down to amman for a visit last summer. I’m not just talking about indecent behavior and appearance..I mean just the amount of KIDS who actually drink!!! I was shocked out of my mind and I live in Dubai for crying out loud…thing is, all this happens in Dubai, but it’s not available for all to see..they don’t serve alcohol in COFFEE SHOPS for God’s sake and they certainly don’t serve it to children…I know this is somewhat irrelevant to your topic but I think this is all tied up..
I speak from personal experience and I am a hijabi by choice-for the record, I come from a family that is highly indifferent to hijab- and when I went down to amman where most my father’s family lives..I was called a ‘phenomenon’…why??because I wear hijab and I want to..after some explanation, my cousin kindly clarified to me how hijabis are viewed in amman…she said they were the worst of the lot and that they’re known for being sluttios maximos!! Further into the conversation, my cousin proceeded to tell me how she wouldnt mind her boyfriend sleeping around as long as he didnt tell her!!! I couldnt believe my ears…I mean I was not able to comprehend why a girl would stoop so low and accept that for herself..my cousin really believed that guys just cannot survive without engaging in a sexual relationship and according to her “if I cant give it to him, I’d rather someone else did”!! That was mind boggling to me…I refuse to believe that men are just animals who have no control over themselves whatsoever…and yes, like you Nas, I feel like I live within a very tight circle of friends who have similar interests but there really isnt much room to maneuver otherwise and it could be quite stifling… Allah y3een ou yihdee
Another well articulated piece. What makes it more interesting is the fact it is coming from an “alien” who was not in Amman in the last few years.
I think what you call “sexual revolution” is a function of the fact that “sexual tools” have increased and became accessible in Jordan. What I mean here are tools for sexual stimulation (CDs. DVDs, satellites, internet) and tools for communication (cell phones) as well as tools for mobility (lot of girls drive their own cars now) and tools for gathering (apartments) as well as tools for making out and hunting (clubs).
In the good old 80s and 90s we were spending a lot of time and efforts to land a porn film (VHS and betamax) and some naked photos from foreign magazines. WE did not have cell phones nor shared apartments or clubs and bought our first cars at the age of beyond 25.
I managed to keep clean from adultry when I was single since I wanted to do the same thing I demand from my wife, but if I were a teenager at this time I am sure things will be more difficult.
Personally I find Hijabis morally morally reprehensible. Whenever I walk down my favourite streetes of Amman nothing manages to ruin the experience more than the sight of a Hijabi. I particularly loathe the ones who do it out of choice. I fail to see how they so readily and willingly adopt such a blatant symbol of gender discrimination and oppression. But that’s just me.
No people keep saying that only 5% of the population go to bars/clubs so on.
totally not true perhaps only that percentage go to the trendy, upscale bars but Amman is awash with sleezy/seedy establishments where the lower orders of society oongregate. Even in East Amman there are bars and liquor stoes galore.
I don’t see what’s wrong with people having sex as long as its consensual and the party’s involved are able to do it safely and so on.
Why do you or anyone else have a monopoly on morality.
I find this whole debate ridiculous. If people want to have sex then good form them of course there are many unwanted side effects mention earlier in terms of promiscuity becoming the norm, but it is the same with any adult activity and those risks can be mitigated through education.
Also your friend is definitely full of hot air, 5 minute pitch and then sex, that happens very rarely anywhere in the world
I cannot say that I agree with the pro-change ppl up to a point where somebody just tagged jordan by the name “the Hedonist Kingdom of Jordan”. Still, we need the change. Maybe sexual supression is not the sole cause of our social and economic problems, but come to think about it.. you can relate it in some way to each one of them!
Nas, remember your article about changing mosques?? see the connection?
I guess Aziz Abdo and Haifa Wahbi (my stereotypical mind’s representatives of the so called liberal media) wouldn’t have had to do all the bitchiness in their clips had it not been for the people asking for it in some way or another.
But again, that’s my twisted mind’s way of thinking things around
Wow, all of the bloggers are commenting here :)!
Too bad I am late to give my opinion!
Nas, I really wish what you are saying is true! But unfortunatly I can’t.
While yes Amman has changed in the past few years, and yes people are much aware of their sexuality and much more accepted of sexual behaviour, there are still a lot of limitations on people. It is not a norm for a guy to have sex once a week. Women are still in much boundaries concerning sex. One night stand are not as common as it sounded from your post.
I consider my friends to be very liberal. The men wouldn’t mind having sex with a different woman each night, but they find it impossible in Jordan unless they want to pay for it which they don’t like to do.
Women are still shy of admitting it. All of my girl friends, and who do curse our society for the limitation it put on their sexuality, wouldn’t go for a one night stand sex. Maybe if they are in a relationship, they would have some (but ofcourse keeping their virginity). But all of them would shy to admit they had any sex.
If we have a sexual revolution, then it would be for the best. A lot of frustration would just fade away. We just need to drop down the last hollow cover and let those women loose their virginity when they feel like to.
What surprised me, is that there was this rave concert/event in Jordan called “Spring Fling” and I look into the crowd (through a video) to see Hijabbers bumping and dancing among the vast amount of men and others.
that was a TOTAL shock for me, also seeing that the ones who were out to celebrate new year after 1 AM in the hottest spots in Amman were 80% Hijabbers. Perfect. lol
What’s this BS?
That’s so untrue. I’m a Blond Blue Eyed 1.86cm very good looking guy who can’t find a date in amman even with my BMW. Though I have my own business, apartment and car.
Superficially, girls are so liberal, but when it comes to sex and dating, still we aren’t the west!! Still girls have that mentality that they want a socially approved life and marriage, and are pretty aware that dating and sex ruins that chance, even when it is easy to close the hole at the doctor!! pardon my French. And they are aware too that it became acceptable nowadays to have more freedom about what they wear, where and when and they hang out, but it stops there.
I studied in the Jordanian university, and even if university girls should have been the most modern, i never had the courage to mention sex in front of them except for 2 or 3 times throughout my uni years. Yet my male colleagues never stopped boasting getting a beautiful girl, that maybe a change, a change in talking courage.
If you r talking about prostitution, that is everywhere in the world, even more in the poorest places in Africa, and doesn’t mean a sexual revolution is to come.
If you are talking about a change in social values, apart from rare cases, What u c is only superficial.
Someone mentioned the customers of classy pubs, ya3ni Nai, prana wil shilleh. Ppl who go there are mostly, foreigners, Lebanese, Arab 48, and those belonging to minorities quite less conservative than the average Muslim Jordanian, + the ppl with Russian looking women u know what they are
. the rest are average Jordanians and make up less than 0.000005% of the pop.
I totally agree with Qwieder, its always been like that and not to deny that thingss are constantly changing, but I have been hearing the same stories since the early 90s….
some of the commentators said that the reason for all that is simply because of ” livining in a choke” factor … do you agree?
Interesting subject popped out here…
I accidentally read the article, and it’s quite true. I’m a guy that deals with this issue. I have lots of these “one night stands with many girls”. Almost 3 days a week. Who ever don’t agree, then they are not part of AMMAN. This is the new Amman people, if you don’t know that, well you know now.
I would like to add my perspective and if it seems like I am boasting then do pardon me. I lived in Amman and partied hard with several friends of Palestinian origin. The women we dated were non-Arab RJ stewardesses and before that we satisfied our urges mainly with Egyptian women working in hotel lounges. Yes some Jordanian women gave it up but this was very rare and I do mean very rare. The dude who claims 5 minutes is a LIAR. Picking up ‘casual women’ does not work that way, heck even most prostitutes prefer you break the ice first. Unless you are talking about a street walker! Make the rounds and do visit the clubs mentioned and I guarantee you it is BS. Even Palestinian /Jordanians in the west are extremely hard to get.
The ‘normal females’ that do give it up are slowly manipulated into giving it up. It takes time, effort, trust and love (for the most part) for them to succumb to their partner.
Sex is overrated…
Who cares if people are having sex ya3ni? I don’t care since it does not affect me in any way and it’s between them and their God.
Mish?
“Personally I find Hijabis morally morally reprehensible. Whenever I walk down my favourite streetes of Amman nothing manages to ruin the experience more than the sight of a Hijabi. I particularly loathe the ones who do it out of choice. I fail to see how they so readily and willingly adopt such a blatant symbol of gender discrimination and oppression. But that’s just me.”
Jordanian, how can hijab be a symbol of oppression if it is done by choice? When you make such broad claims, please explain what you mean. You are talking about a large portion of girls who sacrifice a lot when making such a choice- and no, I am not talking about those who party hard or make out with their boyfriends behind a tree. I’m talking about the ones who are morally aware of what hijab stands for and live accordingly. I’m sorry your walking-down-my-favorite-streets-of-amman experience is ruined by the mere sight of a hijabi -sounds like a nightmare to you.
Is there ANY hope for this world??
it’s a minority lifestyle dude, chill?
P4 is great, i never made it unless ice was broken first, so what about normal women?
Citizen maybe a 16 yr old dreaming guy… 3 times a week?!
Why is this huge attendance of this thread? is it the title that grabbed everybody’s attention. Be wise, damn, you are a group of sexually hungry people.
Moey: it’s just an opinion dude, chill?
The Hijab for many women around the world is forced down their throat and have no choice in the matter whatsoever. Even in societies where there is no legal obligation to wear the hijab the choice is an illusion given the social networks that these Hijabis live in where the choice not to wear the Hijab is not a realistic one given the fact that they would be ostracized form their community. In Jordan to many women this is the case, theoretically they might choose not to wear the veil but in doing so alienate themselves from all those around them. As such the choice is an illusion.
I find it disconcerting that to women who do have real choice (middle class and above) they willingly adopt the hijab whereas it is a symbol of oppression for so many women who do have that choice in any tangible way.
Furthermore, the veil itself is symbol of the segregation of the gender with the female being subservient as it is she who must cover herself in order to limit male advances.
If women have no choice, if hijab is a symbol of oppression, then blame the f***** arab communities who made it so.
I don’t really know how you think in this very irrational way.
You advocate women’s freedom in not wearing hijab, yet you blame their freedom when wearing hijab.
Jordanian, which part of the Arab world are you talking about??? Saudi?? Because what I seem to notice nowadays is that hijabis are the ones being ostracized from society not the other way round…I don’t know where you get your ideas from..I’m sure there are many who are forced into wearing hijab but that is no longer a wide sect of society..i have 2 friends, people I know very well, that were forced to take the hijab OFF because their parents felt that it would minimize their chances of getting married and a ‘good’ job…a choice is a choice is a choice…an illusion of a choice is one that exists only in your mind…i don’t buy your argument..I don’t see thousands of hijabis swarming the roads of amman, sending out death-threatening looks to non-hijabis…please, give me a break…
Gender discrimination?? Really? So tell me, is it gender discrimination that men are not able to get pregnant? We are two different sexes and the fact that women have to cover is because women happen to be more visually stimulating, thank you very much..I have yet to see women drooling over a guy..
I moved here 2 yrs ago and I have lots of expectations moving in an Islamic country but moving here became a nightmare. I’m Asia but I was raised in Canada since I was little. I never felt so discriminated in my life until I came to Jordan. People looked down on me coz I’m Asia. I’m also a convert in Islam and I learned that Islam have no color and everyone is treated the same whatever you are…but moving here make me realize how good the Islam back in the West…The Muslims are united in the west, no one looked at your race, your color, etc. Islam never changed, its the people that changed.
Back in Canada, Muslims are stronger in their faith and it’s a struggle living in a non-Islamic country, but still, we managed to practice Islam the right way, Alhamdulellah. I remember when I decided to wear the hijab and the non-Muslims couldn’t understand why I’m wearing it but they never discriminated & criticized me. Now that I’m among Muslims and living an Islamic country, I could only regret moving here. Living here is really hard and I spent a lot of time alone b/c I always feel I’m being discriminated. I will just leave it for Allah to guide me. Alhamdulellah for everything!!!!
BS BS BS. All this gibberish means nothing without actual data. We can talk about all we want.
I want to see it and try it out before I give my silly comments.
Several people have asked about these places. Why hasent anyone answered?? No answer; hummmm. Maybe its all the same BS you hear in Amman every day.
mmmmm, ok i agree with the idea of opening,,, but BELIEVE me when i say that we are still a limited society.
all we care about is what and how does it look like, but when it comes to real thing very few who has no life values and are insecure will do ‘IT”..
please if you disagree give facts not jst generalized comments
As a journalist in Amman my backing is with DR Who. Your observations are not empirical, rather they are anecdotal. A man and a woman flirting in a bar is not a foregone conclusion for sex. West Ammanis are prone to hyperbole, if they read a little more and occupied their minds with something more substantial than gossip and hearsay then they would lean less towards wildly inexact speculation.
“Countries such as the U.S. had progressive sexual evolutions that occurred in stages from mainly the 1950’s upwards.” Wrong. The arrival of Rock ‘n Roll was the precursor of the Hippy movement, a rapid and seismic shift in sexual attitudes. The Summer of Love remember? I would be more cautious and circumspect about using the word revolution since it stronly connotes mass change. That’s clearly not the case here.
It seems that what you write is motivated by fear. Perhaps that’s why you’re so quick to extrapolate from a handful of (questionably truthful) stories of young guys and girls getting laid. But why not put things in perspective and, assuming that you’re right, ask what you would prefer; a country in which people are free to make love with who they want, or a country in which women are murdered for far more innocent expressions of human nature.
The idea that women need to be cajoled into sex by promises of love, commitment or materials has been our traditional way of manipulating men into protecting and caring for us.
Really women want sex as much as men do and the sexual revolution which comes hand-in-hand with the liberation of women’s societal roles is evidence of that. Women who can look after themselves don’t need to use sex as a tool of manipulation and can therefore enjoy sex with (or give it up to) whomever and as they please.
Observe the status of loose women/prostitutes within a traditional society’s female hierarchy. These types of women stand low in the hierarchy because they threaten the traditional relationship structure by creating a situation in which men can get sex and chaste women in need of male financial support/physical protection get nothing.
I also agree with the statement that much of the frustration that I see in the people around can be credited to a general lack of sex. It would be interesting to see if the sexual openness of a society can be correlated with peace and happiness. But then, in all my travels, I have yet to experience a truly sexually liberated society.
I’ll stop before I write a book.
This is a response to Neela’s post.
“The idea that women need to be cajoled into sex by promises of love, commitment or materials has been our traditional way of manipulating men into protecting and caring for us.”
The protection and care in this context is surely disingenuous and most probably delusional since it is based on false pretences i.e. sex for ‘affection’ and material generosity, it’s hardly an equitable motive. Not to mention the fact that it would be illustrative of women’s complicity in their own exploitation and the reafirmation of patriarchy. It’s not only men who are being manipulated here.
The idea that women can use their sexuality to exert power over men doesn’t stand up to much criticism since within that context women quickly become objectified and disempowered in much more profound ways.
I think that if people are going to talk of a sexual revolution then they need to remember that revolution is about the wholesale rejection of one set of ideas in exchange for another. Just because pre-marital sex may be becoming less of a taboo doesn’t mean to say that Jordanian men are reconsidering their overwhelmingly chauvenistic and all too often mysogynistic attitudes towards women.
Great news
i am planning to visit jordan in few weeks, can you please give me the names of these night clubs
yallah…I think amman has been always like that…I mean flexible ..it is not an opressed society ..and never was…thanks to our government and good king…lets pray it will stay like that…
look at some other countries in the region where they used to be same or more moderate than jordan and they have changed to worst by going extremely backwards for example Iran….just imagine that…that will be scarey….yak.
i dont think so
“disappointed Muslima”…what are you talking about?! what makes you convert to Islam…and who said that islam doesn’t allow you to practice whatever you want…islam is just a relegion like any other relegions, we are talking about people behavior “SEX” not relegions. ouft… go have fun for gods sake…boring… you people who live outside middle east are the one who are causing all the problems …
“Hiba”
“you people who live outside middle east are the one who are causing all the problems …
I guess you don’t understand english coz i posted “I moved here 2 yrs ago” DUHHHHHHHH….
I really didn’t want to elaborate about the subject of sex coz it wasn’t appropriate for me to talk about it.
As for me converting in Islam, i saw alot of what i believe in more than what i saw in Christianity.It’s a great blessing to be muslim and to practice Islam how it’s suppose to be and not wat’s convenient for us. It’s weird coz when i first came in Jordan, some1 asked me why Im wearing hijab n long skirt, i mean wat kind of a stupid question is dat, nwayz i told her dat it was d new fashion in d west…Do people(islamic contries) think dat since we live in the west, we are exempted of wearing hijab n covering our bodies, omg…
The problem with the people in an Islamic countries, they have forgotten their religion & self respect….they are so busy imitating the West thinking dat this is their great Jannah…Wake up people, popped dat bubble dat u r living and observed the reality of life….having sex & drug are not the answer…this is wat’s destroying the lives & society in the West…
Hiba, Jordan will never become like Iran….Jordan have too much of the influence of the West and it’s too bad to see an islamic country destroy.
3ala dal3ona
first jordan is not an islamic country ,never was and i hope never will be, jordan is jordan part of bilad al-sham and the holy land mentioned in the bible, for every ones info jordan was a christian majority until the ottoman empire ruled and brought muslims from all around, creating this mixture of what is now the jordanian people ,white or brown,blone or burnettes, this does not matter, the mix is great , we have pretty people…living in this holy beloved BEAUTIFUL exotic small country… it was always moderate , people in amman were always not interfeering with each others buisness to a certain limit. while in amman some families are conservative others are not and no one really interfeered ,there was always clubs and liquer stores, for gods sake jordan produces the best wine in the middle east compared to fine chillian wine(my opinion) and arak! people from irbid dance the dabke girls and boys holding hands, while the jordanian bedouins were always liberated ( bedouins) their women walk freely to get the water from the well with their draids showing and the guys gather around them and talk!
jordan was more moderate and open than now, opposite what is being post ! just open university of jordan year books and count how many girls were wearing hijab in the 70s and 80s and how many there is now ?! you’ll be shocked.not only that but now the girls who come from non hijabi life style cannot wear the mini skirt to uni that their mom used to be able to walk freely in in amman in the 70s, becuse she is scared that some islamist e5wan will come and lecture her out of no where or some 7afartali will jump on her !lol! i miss the real jordanian people , i miss shmaisani and waibdeh filled with the elegance of the jordan not some brain washed youth that don’t understand their roots and who they are shifting away from the shami culture and the culture of the holy land,the vinyards and the dabke, the culture that shows how much freedom jordanian women have normally,just count how many jordanian girls are studying in europe ,canada and the states living on their own or working in dubai. i think people that see jordan this way which are ALOT should wake up and smell the rot before they sink…in a way they are esp. last 5 years but more has also to be said as done… i am tired of how much an open heart jordanian people have to every attitude and stream that they agree until now to not have a beauty contest!!! after they had it once in 1979 and the islamists shut it down! jordanians from all religions and MENTALITIES have the right to live freely in this country for just one simple reason,THIS IS JORDAN
peace
What the sh*t areej is talking about? we are a bunch of bedwins dwelling in this desert, what blond and brunette??? we are proud Muslims and proud black and proud to be like 3jal il kawshook in color. When there are a bunch of Christians who came from Syria this don’t mean we were ever Christians, if u don’t like it jump to shitty Syria ok?
and what bilad al sham, bilad il sham are the f*** place and most mota7′allefeen people on earth. Jordan is and always better then Syria and Palestine and Lebanon.
they didn’t come from syria , they are as jordanian as you, and i did not say anything against the bedouins , i love the bedouins, but for your info there is no difference between the jordanian and syrian bedouins, and don’t tell me that the jordanian christians from madaba,karak,irbid,hussun,ajloun,salt,fhais came from syria!!! they are as jordanian as you ..and since when jordan became a bedouin country ,bedouins are part of the society in jordan but they are not the whole society.
Areej.
Jordan was a christian country 1420 years ago. It has a clear muslim majority ever since. The othomans did nothing to alter the demographics of Jordan (from the religous side). The change was ethnic (allowing people coming from the old russian states to settle in Jordan).
I love Jordan no matter what. I love you people Muslim, Christin, Biduin, Fala7een, and Nawar too.. Aqanba to Ramtha…and all in betweem.
Bottom line, sex is good..
Raasah ya gada3…
all of us love jordan and all of us love us so i thought all of gays love the girls….. I mean sex is very good
wow - if the subject was about political participation, i wonder if same number of responses would have taken place - sex is a combination of need and want (like breathing), and if it happens by choice - perfect, so long as it is kept a private choice and responsibility. consequently, sex education must come into play towards making that choice and bearing the responsibility of sex by both partners. if emotions step in, sex becomes magic, then again, that too is an indivisiual’s right of choice and responsibility.
i agree with whom that says yes
there is sexual relations in amman and this phinoma is v. durty
I agree that it is getting pretty sad when it comes to prostituion here in Jordan. I have been coming here for many years and own a house here. I am American and my wife is Jordanian. My wife had a family member visiting in town while we were also vacationing. We went to the hotel restaraunt to meet her cousin. When we were walking in, a guy stopped us and told my wife she had to pay 5JD to enter. This was a bar / restaraunt but this was 3pm. When we asked why she had to pay, he said because I was staying here and since she was my “guest”, she would have to pay. I was not staying at the hotel and she was not a “guest”. The way he said it, he was implying my wife was a prostitute. I found several things wrong with this, first the fact that he called my wife a prostitute, second that the only reason he thought such a thing was because I was American and she is arab, third, that he was actually ok with letting her in to do her thing if she was a prostitute. How are we just going to turn our backs on this sort of thing? This has become so socially acceptable it is scary. I do not live in the US and will not live in the US for this very reason, we live in the gulf. We have talked about sending our kids to Jordan for college but after these past few years, where women are dressing like this and people are acting like this, I will not. They will be going to college close to us in the Gulf or with family in another Gulf country.
I did read one post where somebody blamed part of this on guys from the Gulf. My question is this, Why do you let them get away with it? They dont approach and disrespect women in their country like that, so why do you put up with it here?
Times are changing in Jordan and nobody is to blame except Jordanians. This is your country and one you should be proud of. This is not a muslim problem, a christian problem, etc… this is a moral problem which should be stopped immediatly before it gets too out of hand. Once this country gets marked as being this open, it will only continue to bring more and more socially repulsive characters in and get worse. Do you want to sacrifice your own well being for a few dinars of tourist money?
7aki fadi i agree with you
Hi Everyone,
Over the last decade, life in Amman has changed tremendously and undoubtedly it has become more liberal. This is because of a number of factors, most notably being the influx of refugees from both the first and second Gulf wars. Being a Jordanian, I find this quite saddening. The country has taken a downward spiral in terms of morals, and of course you can’t believe everything that you hear; but generally speaking there will always be some truth in it - the degree of which is up to us to decide.
You don’t have to be a genius to realise that is will effect us all. Society is based on family values, loose those and society will slowly slip into oblivion (broken families, increasing crime etc etc). The question is what can we do about it? The answer is simple, we can all do our own little bit. For example, to dress modestly, avoid alcohol(or drink responsibly if you do), build good community relations etc etc.
Lets just try to be responsible citizens! Best wishes to all.
Iceman
great article…
anyway what i wanna say is that let ppl live they are free but the problem it comes when guys and girls think that they must do one night stands or get laid to be cool or whatever
they want to be modern but dont know how to do it until they do it right we still cant progress
when…
when a guy comes along not braging about him gettin laid last night with a check which he calls a slut!!! why ? coz she slept with him? but aint he is guilty as well how come he calls her that? coz am a guy he asnswers, screw that i say u cant call them that when u do it ur the same.
when…when desperate guys act that this is wrong coz they cant meet any1 in these clubs when they fool themselves that they dont need a woman in thier life although they are crying for it.
when,,,when ppl here realize that they dont have 2 like black music and techno do be cool
when when….ppl start saying that its ok for a girl 2 do that coz i do it to , i drink she can too , she aint a slut , the problem that half the guys even tho they go out with girls like that, they still say they are sluts and whores coz the things they do
thats the fkn problem
I heard a story, in short, 2 men were sent to a place to see hows the living there
onr of them came back saying.. everyone in that place is drinking, alot of clubs and alot of bad behavior.
the other one came back saying that everyone is praying, and it has alot of religious places where everyone is going to.
in short, both of them went to the same place, but everyone saw what he was looking for.
trust me such (liberal acts) are here since long times ago but in a less public way u r simply exploring them, no doubt it expanded but its not as bad as u imagine.
now being moderate i think all of us believe they r moderate, its a matter of perception, u can c me as extreme liberal and i can c u as extreme conservative, i hope i made my point clear here.
Whoa… what a long and entirely ineffective series of comments (save a few).
Society-Morals=Shithole.
Jordan=Society-Morals.
Do the math.
Oh yeah, I would say something more meaningful, but the thing is that the downward spiral of everything, including sexual promiscuity has more to do with the lack of moral training in the family unit itself than anything else. I mean, if your Dad doesn’t respect your Mom, well, you might just grow up to be a chauvanistic asshole. If your Mom doesn’t explain to the girls in the house that woman aren’t servants of men, then maybe the girls will find their position as subservient to men normal and acceptable. Simple, unfortunate, saddening psychology is all…
I’ve been here for a couple of years, and I must say that the male populace here is dastardly mysogynistic.
I want to say, Alias, Allah (SWT) keep you, and Muslima… and the alledged journalist, tryptich(sp?) you have quite the impressive vocabulary. Interesting point of view.
Oh yeah, and me likening Jordan to a shithole… well, if the shoe fits, you know what they say… =)
Oh yeah, interesting post. Salaam.
Hey, I agree with you. Living in Amman is strange for me, cuz on the outside, i look very Western. I dont veil, and my clothes are American. On the other hand, I’m somewhat of an old woman on the inside, and look away everytime a guy approaches me. So i guess the thing is that guys in the old part of Amman mistake me for someone with “other” morals, which they hope to exploit, and and still many others think im the type that is ruining their culture. It’s hard for me to identify with people here cuz, I find myself resenting the suburban Western Amman elitists, and despising all the assholes in the streets who want to do less than Islamic or even humane things to me. Its so sad to see people throwing away their traditions, and yet how can we stop the world from changing? And if a place as religious as this is more scary for a woman to walk around in than many american cities, what does that say? Jordan’s so beautiful and it’s painful to wish that some parts of it aren’t as crappy as they are.
Interesting article indeed and seems the replies and comments continued for almost a year now. Allow me to reply to the last comment from this year, Z as an older guy (in my mid 30s now) I agree on the cahnge you and other mentioned, but I think you were a little harsh with your last sentence “crappy”, I do travel a lot (sometime 8 times a year) for work mainly and to the different cities from US, Europe and Arab countries) I can still confirm we are still one of the good cities. For me for example all what was mentioned can be solved or reduce the bad things with very simple sentence: If we can be more organized and realize that NOT important that I only be happy there are other people who should be too.
To give an example of much simple yet comlicated thing in Amman is driving, just drive for 15 minutes and you will realize that almost every other driver think that the he/she owns the street. So back to the main subject “sex” if we respect each other everything will be better, girls like Z and others will be able to feel much better when walking in the streets and not fear that every single male will try to pick them up or worse as some think every girl will love to sleep with him.
Misleading Article Title:)
I Wish you had discussed this from Psychological Point of View,people now appear to be less concerned with the home and children aspects of family life and more concerned with the social aspects. . sense it does appear that people here in jordan have departed from traditional values. Some of causes behind this phenomenon are influence by the mass media, increased idealization of romantic love, and current social and economic conditions.
All these developments took place alongside and combined with an increase in literacy and decline in religious(islamic) observances and old traditional values . People continued to feel alienated from the past and adopted the life-styles of modernizing westernized cultures.
I just hope this doesn’t end up with the culture of “free love”. it’s a great article ,conveniently brings out sensitive dilemma.
First I will say Salaam to all my brothers and sisters here. I like the previous writer am late in responding to this issue that has been laid out before us, no pun. I liked the article and I am glad it was written. I like many of the responses as well for they seem open and honest. I am an American Muslim now living here in Amman for 2 years and I must say that I am not surprised at the events that are happening and that will happen. When I traveled here 8 years ago I saw little things like a little tavern in Jabal Amman and heard of girls that were willing to do the Haram for a few JD’s. When I went back to the States my Muslim brothers there all asked me how was Amman. I told them it was great, but I see within 5 years things will drastically change. See people will behave according to how they think about a thing. They will use something as a reference point for them to do or not do an action. We see this in many Surahs of the Quran and Hadiths. A brother in the States once asked me what is a problem. I began to explain a problem is this a problem is that. He said no a problem is when we don’t do things according to the way Allah and His Messenger says we should do them. For those who are having sex without marriage then what is their reference point? Maybe that should be a topic for discussion.
Salaams to all.
Guess i am also just as late
i am a south african muslim girl rather i should say lady. People always have an impression that a muslim girl living in a none muslim country is BAD because she is working, studing not married..ect.. yet has the confidence to live her life and not be ruled. i know i mite be tramping toes as you read.
people still think south africa is one massive jungle who has no culture. south africa has a large portion of its population who are muslims, some influenced a bit to much by the west and while others have strict islamic values.
However when i read and look at articles that are being published i have and always had so much respect for the arab nation cos the quraan is your mother tongue. how can one not fear Allah? and have casual sex?? meet at a club? i wont even think of something as disgusting as that and many muslim males and females here in SA will be so disgusted with the fact that the man/woman they marry are not virgins.
the question i have is islamic countries, are they really islamic? why have a holiday on a Jummah? What does Jummah and eid mean in a muslim world?
i know here in south africa it means if you in a meeting with the director of a massive company, many males excuse themselves and say IT IS MY PRAYER TIME ..MY TIME WITH GOD.
yet we live among so many cultures and religions …we have indian- (muslim, hindu, tamil, Christian) and we europeans from so many countries … ppl from China ,buddist, jews , even people who do not believ in god. then we have the Xhosa, zule, and 11 or so other african cultures. BUT the muslims in south africa have musjids full during prayer and their girls keep themselves mind you not even kiss a male on their lips sexually.
so how can you say the TV, internet have influenced Jordon so much that is shocks you.
I think the people there need to relook at themselves and ISLAM.
HI,
I read this article and most of the comments that a lot of people made and i do agree with what most of them. I think that the Arab world have drastically changed in the past ten years to the worst thinking they will make it more modern. what makes me angry is that we only copy the bad and negative attitudes that people in the western countries do. they invent new things and they go to the moon along with doing all the other things that we consider taboos such as having sex before marriage, and taking drugs and all that stuff. However, we are not going no where we just copy the bad things and ruin our lives, communities, and reputation amongst the world.
One of the reasons that some girls and guise have sex before marriage is either due to situation of the men there being very poor and cant afford to get married or very rich and have nothing to spend their money on except their pleasures. For the girls if she is rich she will guarantee someone to ask for her hand but for poor girls they are getting older without getting married and this is exactly when they start asking for it since it is a human instinct
Nansy i agree with you. it is sad to see what the religion islam has becom in the last few years- the world is against us yet we know this and still cowardly behave in the same manner as the west. Can we not see what they do to our fellow brothers and sisters- Gaza.. Kashmir..and many .look what they did to us .
our prophet (SAW) was the last messager and brought us the final complete book that had never changed over thousands of years, and what we do is turn our back on the man that will beg for us to enter Jannah when the day of judgement.
this world is now only -sex drugs and fine wine ect (Haraam) how much can you want it.
SEX will eventually lead you to misery if it is not with your wife only - u will get AIDS - U will die a filthy disgusted way.
drugs- will again make you feel worthless when you not on a high…Why subject yourself ???
Wine why drink when our prophet says NO! makes u lose your sense.
Islam is so perfect, yes we must control our nafs. we fast in the month of ramdaan we control of nafs- Allah is so merciful we must make tawbah and dua.
hi
just wanted to say that part of what you said is true.But mayb to a minority of the population.If you are talking about options or hang overs where guys can have sex with russian or ukrnian girl and seal a deal.But I disagree with you mentioning Whisperes .It is a nice Hang out for ladies.Please mention the clubs.
thank you.
(Teenagers/Sexholic’s and were they stand in community)
Well it’s really crazy , How all the miss-guided Teen’s with raging hormones react and think about girls , I mean with pr0n movies on every other mobile phone and kids as old as 12 being introduced to such things , I think it’s only fair to say that “It’s not safe” for young girls and lady’s to go hangin’ with the wrong public , Not that only but i’ve seen women brought to tears in public because somebody somewhere made a remark on how her as* is suitable for his …. Or whatever!. I swear it gets to extreme points , In both everyday lives to how people actually think about women. It’s a painful reality , I’ve interviewed kids and teens and asked them to answer about what they think of women , And i was surprised that the word “Sex” , Came up in every single answer! , I didn’t hear the word .. Half of the community or A mother .. I’ve only heard voices mis leaded in a way they never were supposed to take in the first place. Some kids were disgustingly graphic in their desires but i knew it all lead to the same destination , They lead to “Lust and Desire” . It’s okay to accept that those are only teenagers and mostly poor .. But to be honest they are a huge slice in this rather different and weirdly built community .
But for those who actually live the life-style of sexholic’s , I feel sorry for them .. Because they’re not living! they’re trying to fill gaps of emotional emptiness through sex and all that comes from it . Not only that but imagine their lives once they settle down ! , They’ll never trust each other because , They know that they are highly likely to go cheating around each other backs and never tell about it…
bottom line , Just keep your-self surrounded with friends that share your interests , And i don’t mean every single interest or hobby , But those who share the same vision towards life.
seriously whilw i was reading this i was extremely suprised,as the last time i was in jordan was in july ‘02,and i never witnessed any of this kind of stuff
i know that there are hookers and all that kind of in jordan,but for normal guys and girls to do all that,is really amazing,and like you said,sad.
i really cant imagine what is going to happen in the future,if now theyre doing all this,i wonder what might happen in just a couple of years
im visiting jordan this october so yea god knows whats going to happen from now till i get there,next thing you know guys and girls will be fully making out in the streets and malls like here,but yea lets just hope that things dont go that far.
Jeremy , great you going back
i plan a trip to jordan later this year aswel please let us know about the trip. would be great if you can suggest a few places as a “must see” and tourist info.
Blame Globalization It’s a 2 side coin. you can take the bad side or benefit from the good side. so u either become a sheikh or u get drunk every day. otherwise you will feel lost. People are free to do what they want so everyone should mind his/her own business. The only thing that make Jordan an islamic country is the fact that it is mentioned in the constitution as being so. So ure in the Jungle baby pick what’s best for you. You cannot fix anything.