Comments on: On The Art Of Jordanian Flattery (And Sucking At It) http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/ A Jordanian Blog Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:30:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 By: Tallouza http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112600 Tallouza Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:05:32 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112600 There is a need to separate ass-kissing from being cordial and warm. Throughout my years abroad, I often wished there were expressions equivalent to "allah ya3teek al3afyeh" or "yeslamoo edeik" or "allah yehfathak" or "allah yirhamoh" or "allah ykhalleek" etc. Our language is great. Our culture is rich. The abundance of kind expressions is evidence to the generous spirit that Arabs genuinely possess. Hypocrisy is a disease that manipulates everything beautiful, including linguistic expressions, to turn them into something ugly. The good news is that this is as prevalent in the Arab world as much as it is in downtown Manhattan. Finally, there is a type of hypocrisy that is tied to the livelihood of some people. I feel sorry for all those having to resort to it. However, this is excusable given that many of our institutions are run as a one-man show. The absence of proper rules and regulations that govern the workplace and that ensure the protection of employees form arbitrary ad hoc practices will always result in practices that we might deem hypocritical. I personally do empathize greatly with those having to to resort to it. Sorry for the long reply. There is a need to separate ass-kissing from being cordial and warm. Throughout my years abroad, I often wished there were expressions equivalent to “allah ya3teek al3afyeh” or “yeslamoo edeik” or “allah yehfathak” or “allah yirhamoh” or “allah ykhalleek” etc. Our language is great. Our culture is rich. The abundance of kind expressions is evidence to the generous spirit that Arabs genuinely possess. Hypocrisy is a disease that manipulates everything beautiful, including linguistic expressions, to turn them into something ugly. The good news is that this is as prevalent in the Arab world as much as it is in downtown Manhattan.
Finally, there is a type of hypocrisy that is tied to the livelihood of some people. I feel sorry for all those having to resort to it. However, this is excusable given that many of our institutions are run as a one-man show. The absence of proper rules and regulations that govern the workplace and that ensure the protection of employees form arbitrary ad hoc practices will always result in practices that we might deem hypocritical. I personally do empathize greatly with those having to to resort to it. Sorry for the long reply.

]]> By: BT http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112524 BT Sun, 02 Mar 2008 12:22:08 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112524 Some aspects of flattery IS a must because it cancels out those crappy quiet moments of awkwardness between 'hello' and 'good bye' What I do completly hate is the brownnosing you get when some one you havnt heard of in months calls for a favor; to which i like to play three games 1.agree with everything and never do anything about the request 2.play the ill call you back in 5 minutes game, which leads to another "favor call" later that year 3.when they ask wenak, man? I answer what is it this time with along sigh :) I may gain small bits of satisfaction but every little bit helps :) Some aspects of flattery IS a must because it cancels out those crappy quiet moments of awkwardness between ‘hello’ and ‘good bye’

What I do completly hate is the brownnosing you get when some one you havnt heard of in months calls for a favor; to which i like to play three games
1.agree with everything and never do anything about the request
2.play the ill call you back in 5 minutes game, which leads to another “favor call” later that year
3.when they ask wenak, man? I answer what is it this time with along sigh :)

I may gain small bits of satisfaction but every little bit helps :)

]]> By: Hani Obaid http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112458 Hani Obaid Fri, 29 Feb 2008 08:15:26 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112458 I couldn't agree more. What bothers me is when someone flatters you and expects you to be grateful, and return the compliment. Errr no thanks. It's like bursting a baloon, when they spent 5 minutes praising you , and you simply reply with a dry 'thank you'. About responding to how are you with different incarnations of good/fine. This isn't really that you are lying, it's that you know the person who asked most of the time couldn't care less about the answer, and will sometimes not even wait to hear it. I've also known some people so good at flattery, that they can make an unsuspecting person blush within seconds and comply. Don't underestimate its power :) I couldn’t agree more. What bothers me is when someone flatters you and expects you to be grateful, and return the compliment. Errr no thanks. It’s like bursting a baloon, when they spent 5 minutes praising you , and you simply reply with a dry ‘thank you’.

About responding to how are you with different incarnations of good/fine. This isn’t really that you are lying, it’s that you know the person who asked most of the time couldn’t care less about the answer, and will sometimes not even wait to hear it.

I’ve also known some people so good at flattery, that they can make an unsuspecting person blush within seconds and comply. Don’t underestimate its power :)

]]> By: imad http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112443 imad Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:00:16 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112443 is there a correlation between us folks who prefer writing in english and our dislike for mujamaleh? not many people defending jordanian flattery in this blog.... is there a correlation between us folks who prefer writing in english and our dislike for mujamaleh?
not many people defending jordanian flattery in this blog….

]]> By: Jordan's Free Voices http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112435 Jordan's Free Voices Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:11:12 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112435 <strong>Do not compliment Rambling Hal...</strong> My mother had a bit of a house warming party last night, where a total of 24 (or was it 25?) women ogled... Do not compliment Rambling Hal…

My mother had a bit of a house warming party last night, where a total of 24 (or was it 25?) women ogled…

]]> By: Hala http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112429 Hala Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:32:02 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112429 Nas, would you want to be told the truth ALL the time? I think that Mojamalat are important to a certain extent, not only in the Arab world but in the US and Canada and other places as well. However, it is exaggerated in Arab countries and not in a good way. What is even more annoying than the Mojamalat is people who include words like '7abibi/7abibti' and it sounds fake simply because you barely know the person and all of a sudden he/she is using a word that should ONLY be used between couples, in my opinion. It is kind of insulting because it seems like the person is taking advantage of you. I guess you should start working on how to become better at this type of art; when in Jordan, do as the Jordanians do. Do not worry, it will come to you. We have it genetically implanted :) But let me tell you that some complimenting will get you somewhere most of the time, even my Finance professor enjoys it when I tell her that her hair looks nice, and I know I will ace the class! Nas, would you want to be told the truth ALL the time?

I think that Mojamalat are important to a certain extent, not only in the Arab world but in the US and Canada and other places as well. However, it is exaggerated in Arab countries and not in a good way. What is even more annoying than the Mojamalat is people who include words like ‘7abibi/7abibti’ and it sounds fake simply because you barely know the person and all of a sudden he/she is using a word that should ONLY be used between couples, in my opinion. It is kind of insulting because it seems like the person is taking advantage of you. I guess you should start working on how to become better at this type of art; when in Jordan, do as the Jordanians do. Do not worry, it will come to you. We have it genetically implanted :)

But let me tell you that some complimenting will get you somewhere most of the time, even my Finance professor enjoys it when I tell her that her hair looks nice, and I know I will ace the class!

]]> By: Um Omar http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112416 Um Omar Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:27:01 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112416 You are right on, Nas. I absolutely hate that kind of talk. It is so phony and I stand there wondering if this person knows it is fake, and I know it is fake, then why are we going thru this??? If I use any flattery in my talk, I mean it. If I compliment someone, I mean it. I refuse to play these word games. I have heard my sister in laws on the phone, and it becomes this rote memorization kind of chant thing. For every caller it is the same line of questioning, so of course it is all fake. I think as Muslims we should drop this kind of junk, because it is so insincere and when you think about it, it is lying. I had this worker in the backyard doing some stone work. When I would go out there and tell him to change something he would do this whole song and dance thing, "Ala rasi, etc." And when I would go back in the house, he would call up the mohandis and complain about me. In the end we fired him and I was so relieved. Just cut to the chase and tell the truth. The wierd thing about Arab communication is also the flip side of the compliment thing, where they will ask you the most personal questions on their first meeting with you. I am not sure where that falls in the category. I mean they will tell you that you have gained weight and that your face looks swollen or whatever. How is that polite conversation? And then they will whip out their favorite questions about your marital relations and birth control. I was floored the first time this happened! On the first meeting with these women. Wow. As others have said, these kinds of talk make it difficult to fit in around here, though truthfully I don't even bother to try. You are right on, Nas. I absolutely hate that kind of talk. It is so phony and I stand there wondering if this person knows it is fake, and I know it is fake, then why are we going thru this??? If I use any flattery in my talk, I mean it. If I compliment someone, I mean it. I refuse to play these word games. I have heard my sister in laws on the phone, and it becomes this rote memorization kind of chant thing. For every caller it is the same line of questioning, so of course it is all fake. I think as Muslims we should drop this kind of junk, because it is so insincere and when you think about it, it is lying.

I had this worker in the backyard doing some stone work. When I would go out there and tell him to change something he would do this whole song and dance thing, “Ala rasi, etc.” And when I would go back in the house, he would call up the mohandis and complain about me. In the end we fired him and I was so relieved. Just cut to the chase and tell the truth.

The wierd thing about Arab communication is also the flip side of the compliment thing, where they will ask you the most personal questions on their first meeting with you. I am not sure where that falls in the category. I mean they will tell you that you have gained weight and that your face looks swollen or whatever. How is that polite conversation? And then they will whip out their favorite questions about your marital relations and birth control. I was floored the first time this happened! On the first meeting with these women. Wow.

As others have said, these kinds of talk make it difficult to fit in around here, though truthfully I don’t even bother to try.

]]> By: kinzi http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112397 kinzi Wed, 27 Feb 2008 12:16:46 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112397 Nas, indeed...I hate to be cynical, but I almost consider that kind of blunt honesty yet another form of power play. Nas, indeed…I hate to be cynical, but I almost consider that kind of blunt honesty yet another form of power play.

]]> By: rhombus ajility http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112395 rhombus ajility Wed, 27 Feb 2008 12:02:11 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112395 true dat. you know you're not with an acquaintance when you don't feel the need to keep talking on and on and on. true dat. you know you’re not with an acquaintance when you don’t feel the need to keep talking on and on and on.

]]> By: ola http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112393 ola Wed, 27 Feb 2008 11:34:56 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112393 Well, Dave Tyson Gentry (I don't know who he is but he has loads of quotes :D) said the same thing... "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable" My best friend once told me after walking for around an hour without saying a word: You know what I like about our friendship? It's that we know when to speak and when to remain silent... Well, Dave Tyson Gentry (I don’t know who he is but he has loads of quotes :D) said the same thing…

“True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable”

My best friend once told me after walking for around an hour without saying a word: You know what I like about our friendship? It’s that we know when to speak and when to remain silent…

]]> By: Nas http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112391 Nas Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:33:50 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112391 <b>secratea:</b> "Jad, sucking it all up sucks" lol that's poetic <b>ola:</b> I've discovered that amidst all the risidu, the people you really love or consider friends are those whom you spend no amount of mujamalat on, and the silences are never awkward. <b>Maha:</b> "people did and said things to show appreciation, love, care for others in their community" I don't know if that's true. Also, a mujamaleh is usually not intended to simply compliment someone. There's a difference between the word compliment and the word flattery. There is a thin line. I can easily find things to compliment (most) people on but I don't feel the need to translate that into a fury of flattering remarks. In most cases, my compliments stem from my appreciation for the good things they represent, without vocalizing it every time i see them. And especially when I've only met them. do you see my point? <b>bambam:</b> thanks for the demonstration! :-D <b>kinzi:</b> i think that's an important angle. those observations are very feminine in Jordanian society, and represent a type of blunt honesty, which ironically and interestingly enough, contrasts what I'm talking about here. secratea: “Jad, sucking it all up sucks” lol that’s poetic

ola: I’ve discovered that amidst all the risidu, the people you really love or consider friends are those whom you spend no amount of mujamalat on, and the silences are never awkward.

Maha: “people did and said things to show appreciation, love, care for others in their community” I don’t know if that’s true. Also, a mujamaleh is usually not intended to simply compliment someone. There’s a difference between the word compliment and the word flattery. There is a thin line. I can easily find things to compliment (most) people on but I don’t feel the need to translate that into a fury of flattering remarks. In most cases, my compliments stem from my appreciation for the good things they represent, without vocalizing it every time i see them. And especially when I’ve only met them.

do you see my point?

bambam: thanks for the demonstration! :-D

kinzi: i think that’s an important angle. those observations are very feminine in Jordanian society, and represent a type of blunt honesty, which ironically and interestingly enough, contrasts what I’m talking about here.

]]> By: kinzi http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112389 kinzi Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:23:48 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112389 SO, where do women get off the hook of this lovely cultural exchange? I see them greeting one another with shabbily veiled inferences to gained weight, looking sick, why did you do your hair that way, etc. SO, where do women get off the hook of this lovely cultural exchange? I see them greeting one another with shabbily veiled inferences to gained weight, looking sick, why did you do your hair that way, etc.

]]> By: bambam http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112387 bambam Wed, 27 Feb 2008 08:54:23 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112387 YAY introverted YAY ... Silence is never awkward when really it is your MO, if other feel that way... tough luck. I am not trying to sell anybody anything, not even myself thankfully, so I really don't care about the antagonism that it generates. shak 2asafeen galore, keeps me entertained and sharp so i actually enjoy the attempt and it gives me a purpose to counter attack and annihilate. long live live napolean the pig ! ps. too much coffee in the morning can simulate the effects of lsd YAY introverted YAY … Silence is never awkward when really it is your MO, if other feel that way… tough luck.
I am not trying to sell anybody anything, not even myself thankfully, so I really don’t care about the antagonism that it generates. shak 2asafeen galore, keeps me entertained and sharp so i actually enjoy the attempt and it gives me a purpose to counter attack and annihilate.
long live live napolean the pig !
ps. too much coffee in the morning can simulate the effects of lsd

]]> By: abu daoud http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112382 abu daoud Wed, 27 Feb 2008 06:30:59 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112382 This makes me think of some of the posts on the economy and business in Jordan. In the US it goes like this: Vendor: How can we do a better job? Client: Well, it would be nice to have a website where we can track shipments at any time of the day. Vendor: OK, we'll check into that and see if we can do it. Jordan: Vendor: How can we do a better job? Client: Habibi! You're a great guy! We love doing business with you. Let me get you some coffee! Of course maybe it's a stretch in the first place to assume that a vendor would ask the question about improving services... This makes me think of some of the posts on the economy and business in Jordan.

In the US it goes like this:

Vendor: How can we do a better job?
Client: Well, it would be nice to have a website where we can track shipments at any time of the day.
Vendor: OK, we’ll check into that and see if we can do it.

Jordan:

Vendor: How can we do a better job?
Client: Habibi! You’re a great guy! We love doing business with you. Let me get you some coffee!

Of course maybe it’s a stretch in the first place to assume that a vendor would ask the question about improving services…

]]> By: عوض الكندرجي http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112377 عوض الكندرجي Wed, 27 Feb 2008 02:39:32 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112377 قبل أسبوع أبني أشترى حاسوب وشبكنا علي الانتر نت وقللولي كيف تربط المواقع الالكترونيه وبصدفه ربطت موقعك وزرت موقع نسيم الطراونه، ويا عيني علي هيك موقع زرتوا،أرجوك ما تئخدني عي هذه المجامله لي انو موقعك حلو وف فكاهه زي مابحكي غوار الطوشه في المسلسل السوري الشهير صح النوم،علي كل حال المجامله شئ موجود عند كل الحضارات والأمم وهذا نوع من التواصل والاحترام قبل أسبوع أبني أشترى حاسوب وشبكنا علي الانتر نت وقللولي كيف تربط المواقع الالكترونيه وبصدفه ربطت موقعك وزرت موقع نسيم الطراونه، ويا عيني علي هيك موقع زرتوا،أرجوك ما تئخدني عي هذه المجامله لي انو موقعك حلو وف فكاهه زي مابحكي غوار الطوشه في المسلسل السوري الشهير صح النوم،علي كل حال المجامله شئ موجود عند كل الحضارات والأمم وهذا نوع من التواصل والاحترام

]]> By: mo http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112371 mo Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:54:09 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112371 wow this was by far the best blog post i ever read ... *practicing fake flattery* lol im just kidding :D wow this was by far the best blog post i ever read …

*practicing fake flattery*

lol im just kidding :D

]]> By: Maha http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112368 Maha Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:55:37 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112368 Where do these hallow "mojamalat" come from? Once upon a time in our old history of osool o 3adat, people did and said things to show appreciation, love, care for others in their community. People used to mean what they say and that mattered to others. Mojamaleh was plain old courtesy but now it has all those negative connotations attached to it. Having the ability to be sincerely courteous with others is a social art and a great asset, when you are sitting with someone even if a total stranger it is courtesy to strike up conversation to make them feel welcomed and important, your questions should show interest without intruding. If you can't be sincere and genuine in your flattery, then don't do it. If you can't honestly find a single thing that genuinely interests you or is worth sincerely complimenting in the person across from you then maybe it's you who is looking at the world through wrong glasses. No one is that much better than others. Where do these hallow “mojamalat” come from? Once upon a time in our old history of osool o 3adat, people did and said things to show appreciation, love, care for others in their community. People used to mean what they say and that mattered to others. Mojamaleh was plain old courtesy but now it has all those negative connotations attached to it.
Having the ability to be sincerely courteous with others is a social art and a great asset, when you are sitting with someone even if a total stranger it is courtesy to strike up conversation to make them feel welcomed and important, your questions should show interest without intruding.

If you can’t be sincere and genuine in your flattery, then don’t do it. If you can’t honestly find a single thing that genuinely interests you or is worth sincerely complimenting in the person across from you then maybe it’s you who is looking at the world through wrong glasses. No one is that much better than others.

]]> By: Pharmer http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112367 Pharmer Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:47:11 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112367 I can't do mujamalat.it's just too fake. Even when I try, i fail cause I can't live with not being true to myself. The thing is if you don't live with the mujamalat and conform...you are ostricized. People that usually "jamloo" find it hard to be around those that don't for fear that their true self is revealed past the front they put up. I too learned the hard way that being honest and genuine with people is not well-received but I'm still sticking to it. I can’t do mujamalat.it’s just too fake. Even when I try, i fail cause I can’t live with not being true to myself. The thing is if you don’t live with the mujamalat and conform…you are ostricized. People that usually “jamloo” find it hard to be around those that don’t for fear that their true self is revealed past the front they put up. I too learned the hard way that being honest and genuine with people is not well-received but I’m still sticking to it.

]]> By: ola http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112366 ola Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:29:14 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112366 Thank you! I thought I have issues because many times I don't find anything to talk about with some people. It's just uncomfortable to sit around saying nothing, so you end up talking about everything that is anything... I really wish silence wasn't so awekward, certainly better than mojamalat with hollow smiles! Thank you! I thought I have issues because many times I don’t find anything to talk about with some people. It’s just uncomfortable to sit around saying nothing, so you end up talking about everything that is anything…

I really wish silence wasn’t so awekward, certainly better than mojamalat with hollow smiles!

]]> By: secratea http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112362 secratea Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:36:32 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112362 Oh boy, I'm gonna have to indulge in this once more when i visit Jordan this summer! the problem isn't that i hate it because, as you have mentioned, whether we like it or not, we just can't easily brush it aside, so we just learn to live with it. But It's just that i suck at it, and then people usually think i'm socially awkward! Maybe that's why when i visited home the first time i really tried hard to avoid seeing people; mujamalit those people who all of a sudden, from nowhere, want to socialize with me is not a show i can put on for long! The typical questions i receive from those people who i barely know is keefik? sho kunti ti3mali hnaak? keef Amreeeca? nseeteena? laish ma 3umrik etaslati 3alaina? not to forget that us single girls also get the "ma fee 3arees 3al 6aree2?" question...! lol anyhow, I end up giving those typical answers you have mentioned.. Jad, sucking it all up sucks :( Oh boy, I’m gonna have to indulge in this once more when i visit Jordan this summer! the problem isn’t that i hate it because, as you have mentioned, whether we like it or not, we just can’t easily brush it aside, so we just learn to live with it. But It’s just that i suck at it, and then people usually think i’m socially awkward! Maybe that’s why when i visited home the first time i really tried hard to avoid seeing people; mujamalit those people who all of a sudden, from nowhere, want to socialize with me is not a show i can put on for long!
The typical questions i receive from those people who i barely know is keefik? sho kunti ti3mali hnaak? keef Amreeeca? nseeteena? laish ma 3umrik etaslati 3alaina? not to forget that us single girls also get the “ma fee 3arees 3al 6aree2?” question…! lol
anyhow, I end up giving those typical answers you have mentioned.. Jad, sucking it all up sucks :(

]]> By: Nas http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112358 Nas Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:39:01 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112358 <b>AMP:</b> man that thing must come in handy sometimes :-D <b>Hal:</b> lol thanks but I, like you, have no idea what you're talking about! :-D AMP: man that thing must come in handy sometimes :-D

Hal: lol thanks but I, like you, have no idea what you’re talking about! :-D

]]> By: Hal http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112357 Hal Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:29:35 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112357 Well, there's the saying that goes, "If you have nothing nice/good to say, then say nothing at all." Or something like that. I like that saying. Right, I'm not exactly sure what my point is, but when I tell you I enjoy reading your blog, I can assure you I'm not flattering you for the sake of anything. :D Well, there’s the saying that goes, “If you have nothing nice/good to say, then say nothing at all.” Or something like that.

I like that saying.

Right, I’m not exactly sure what my point is, but when I tell you I enjoy reading your blog, I can assure you I’m not flattering you for the sake of anything. :D

]]> By: AMP http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112354 AMP Tue, 26 Feb 2008 12:22:59 +0000 http://www.black-iris.com/2008/02/26/on-the-art-of-jordanian-flattery-and-sucking-at-it/#comment-112354 Here, here! But at least I get to pull the "foreigner card." :-) Here, here! But at least I get to pull the “foreigner card.” :-)

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