Comments on: Being Gay In Jabal Amman

By: yassoio

yassoio — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:24:55 +0000

i like comment # 70 very much . and im a gay guy in amman but i till no one about it i hate gay guys how act smooth and fofi , even im gay im not showing that and i speak and move and wear a normal clothes . im a good looking 22 years old guy studying at the university of jordan . BUT I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM > IM IN LOVE WITH A GUY AT THE UNI SINCE THE FIRST YEAR , I DONT KNOW HIS NAME OR ANY THING ABOUT HIM . AND I’V NEVER TALKED TO HIM .I JUST SAW HIM IN THE MAIN LIBRARY . HE LOOKED AT ME ONCE . THEN HE KEEP STARING AT ME IN THE EYES I REALLY LIKED HIM SO I RETURNED THE LOOKING IN THE EYES
AND THIS REPEATS EVERY TIME I SEE HIM . I ADOOOOOOOOOOORE HIM AND I THINK HE IS THE SAME . I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM . I CANT FORGET HIS GORGES GREEN EYES ……………………
IM TIRED OF THIS SILENT LOVE SO I STARTED AVOIDING LOOKING AT HIM ALTHOUGH I MISS HIM ITS SO HARD AND BECAUSE I DONT WANT MY FRIEND AND PPL TO NOTICE THAT IM IN LOVE WHITH HIM ………… HOW TO BECOME STRAIT ……. HOE TO FORGET ABOUT HIM …….IM CRAZY ABOUT EVERY THING ABOUT HIM …………TILL ME WHAT TO DO ….. I HATE BEING GAY…………….GOD PLEAS HELP ME IM A GOOD MAN……….ITS NOT IN MY HANDS

By: talal

talal — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 14:21:33 +0000

box@cafe it is just great place and very respactable place u can go there and ejoy ur time from net to the great food … and i love going there becouse i seen alot of my freinds ,,, why u dont just stop talking about the owner … i know him and he is great guy .. leave him alone … is it becouse arab people dont like to see sombody who is doing great bess , is it becouse we dont like to see people happey , or is it becouse we r from third world ???? i dont no

By: talal

talal — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 14:16:17 +0000

bla .. bla .. bla gay always been here in the whole world since thousands of years … we not new in this comunity …. and lets face it ur sexaul I.D didnt tell who you are as person …. lets face it and learn about it and deal with it …. we didnt chosed to be that way but we r proud about our self ,, and there is a reason for us to be gay on this earth

By: Roro

Roro — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:47:27 +0000

It’s Roro a lesbian woman from Amman

Always excited to meet new lesbian women.. add me plz

rororererom@windowslive,com

By: JENIN

JENIN — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:22:33 +0000

dO U KNOW That the owner from jenin and his uncles are Mojahidon and heros… and iam shocked to hear that from him….u should be ashamed

By: 7ammood

7ammood — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 21:52:56 +0000

@me
please don’t do this to your self. The same god that has created all those people around u has created u. lesbian relashionships are not an abomination. this is who u are. the only way u can experience true love is through another woman. I hope that when u go to the US you will get a new perspective on life. And how life doesn’t start and stop at the commands in the many religions on Earth. If you continue tourchering ur self for an identy u did not create, you will not only hurt yourself, you will also hurt those around you because they will never be able to see u happy, and I don’t mean walking in with ur girlfriend into the house and introducing her to ur parents. I mean that having ur own life on the side, one with friends that love and accept you will make ur life with ur familly much easier because u are no longer pushing all those feelings and emotions into ur little shell, but rather have a place where u r free. I understand what u r going through because i went through it, every LGBT person has gone through this stage. Don’t listen to those who say gay relashionships are aimless, because that is simply not true. there is just as much love between gay and lesbian couples as in straight ones.

By: bambam

bambam — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 07:01:35 +0000

@me hang on there things always get better once you calm down and ask for help.
– First thing i would suggest is get in touch with a support group in your community(sexual abuse or lgbt either one works), its not easy but the internet is a good place to start. bekhsoos.com
– Read other people’s experiences, some psychology, you might especially be interested in reading about the topic of “homosexual imprinting”. Abuse could be the reason that you are having those feelings and it also might not be.
– from you reply i sensed that you are distressed by having those feelings being a muslim and having same gender attraction, contact people like al-fatiha.org, and read their resources.
– Talk to a shrink, talk to people online, just let some of that steam out. it doesn’t have to be about the topics that you are not comfortable discussing but you can start by what is bothering you in general. A good psychotherapist will be able to pick up from there.
– whatever the case is work on being comfortable in your own skin, and know that things always get better.

By: me

me — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 23:42:41 +0000

I’ve read all the comments above, I dont know what to say, I’m a Muslim, 22 year old female, I believe in Allah, I practice my religion, but yet I’m attracted to girls, I’ve never been with a girl, but I know how I feel, I don’t get attracted to guys no matter how hot they were ! I can’t trust guys because I was abused from the age of 6 till the age of 9 by my male cousin ! I went to a shrink but I couldn’t tell him about the abuse neither about my sexuality because hes an ARAB ! even if its his job to fix people and to teach them how to deal with their feelings and problems, he’s still an arab and I just didn’t think he would understand, I thought of going to a female shrink but I couldn’t because I was scared she would look down at me ! I thought of killing myself many times but I’m too scared ! I’m not going to do anything with any woman, as I said I practice my religion, but I’m sure that Allah can see how I’m suffering with my feelings, and I’m sure that he knows how hard it is to me to let a guy touch me.

I’m going to the US for masters, but still, I’ll keep wearing my Hijab, and do everything I can so that Allah would save me from these feelings and show me the right path.

By: Ahmed

Ahmed — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 13:08:53 +0000

agk we all know as a gay that there are websites that we can meet in but the issue that You can’t find the true gay friend or let’s say love !! all are just seeking for sex that’s all … Maybe if we ” gays” accept it then the community is gonna accept it !! am sure that you have seen the jordanian gay magazine ” KYLIE” it sucks do you know why ? because it shows others that we just care about sex !! its articles just about sex !!! does that really represent me gays ??????????

By: agk

agk — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 00:51:23 +0000

You know, we gays in Amman, should stop complaining about the ethical, religeous, or family perspectives of our sexual/ romantic desires. We should just accept the fact that the mainstream just does not want to deal with us, and live with that happily thereafter.
I do not think that a passerby or coworker needs to know what I do in bed.
What we really should be complaing about is the the lack of decent meeting places, cruising, and non cyber romance.
Amman is extremely GAY-DRY, in that sense.

By: Ahmed

Ahmed — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:39:04 +0000

Well guys , I am a gay guy in his golden age “20′s” sometimes i feel that i have the worst life just because I am gay , but u know what till now i didn’t touch a guy am still so virgin , sometimes I feel that god put me in this as a test , yes you can find blind guy , deaf guy, and you can find gay guy … maybe it’s very hard to stay virgin for ever but i pray that god will be there for me to help me to NOT do what he hates , for me i keep thinking about my future and about my family .. Will i get married ?? what am i gonna tell my mum in the time when she tells me that she had found a cute girl for me , will i be lonely for long time ?? I hope to die very soon let’s say after 3 years , and when I meet god I will be proud of myself that I am gay guy who was patient …..

By: lol

lol — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:21:49 +0000

Peace love and sex , happy new year 2010

By: Sammie Corday

Sammie Corday — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 16:56:13 +0000

I haven’t really read most of the comments, I’m going to after I post this, but, I do have a question of my own, I’m a Jordanian lesbian and so far I’m the only one I know, I found this blog while researching LGBT communities in Jordan, I guess at the age of 18 I just started feeling really lonely out here, I mean, I love my friends but I feel I’d be closer with the gay community, and actually be able to find a relationship if I got more involved, I’ve been nagging my gay best friend to go to Books@ with me but he’s always busy or on a date, I’ve also noticed that it’s easier for gay men in Jordan than it is for lesbians :/.
I have a lot of close friends that live in the states or canada even in europe but I never seem to meet people who actually live in Jordan.

By: Dee

Dee — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:33:30 +0000

I’ve read most of the comments and I have a few thoughts of my own to share, Note that I am still very confused about this.

I am a bisexual female, but still don’t know how to blend in even at places like books@cafe.

By: Saleem

Saleem — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 15:15:41 +0000

ahmed has a point here… its not easy for gay and lesbian people who arent part of the ‘booksat clique’ (which number give or take 20 people max) to actually meet or even integrate within this intelligencia or so seems of openmindedness acceptance and decency, when in reality, they like the people who oppose them, tend to reflect the same basic tendancies of rejectionism and xenophobia, showing how easily they become like the society (they want to be more progressive) but towards other gay guys and girls in west Amman let alone the broader Jordanian GLBTs … their isnt a budding gay movement in Jordan, just a private club of gay guys themselves elitist and very self serving…
Ahmed, if you want to join these guys, i suggest u try hooking up with them on gaydar (helps if u’ve been blessed biologically to show what u can be an asset to that clique; face pic not neccessary)

Hypocrits

By: Ahmed

Ahmed — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:48:53 +0000

Ok I have noticed that jabal amman became gay village but not all gays can get involved with this community ! I am gay and it not easy ” as we all know ” to be gay in jordan !! i have alot of foreigner gays friends when I tell them that i am gay from jordan , all tell me ” how lucky you are ” am i really lucky that I am gay or being in jordan !! i don’t have gays friends “REAL ONES” in my life so i find it really hard to be one of tis gay community !!

By: Daniya H.

Daniya H. — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:31:08 +0000

Hello “Confused” i can relate what you mean exactly, I was living abroad & now back to Jordan so we almost share the same thing… anyhow i am willing to offer my help though since i used to live in Amman before
contact me at Dark.Harb@yahoo.com

Regards

By: Daniya H.

Daniya H. — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:27:21 +0000

well, I have read most of the comments and all i can wish is for us all LGBT community in Jordan to finally have our rights! enough is enough i think

By: Confused

Confused — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 09:53:30 +0000

Hello,

I am an Arab American female, who recently moved back to Jordan, and well I have always been what they call a “Fag Hag” lol what that is, is a woman who has many gay male friends… I recently have been feeling attracted to women, but I wouldn’t say I am a lesbian, I think I might be Bi. I want to meet open minded females, although my father is pretty westernized, with age he is becoming less and less open to things, also we come from a large prominent family.

are their lots of bi and lesbian women in Amman or what? let me know..

Ty.

By: Sesame

Sesame — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:46:54 +0000

Sam said: “But when a person tells me that being gay is not a choice just like being hetero is not a choice; that is where I draw the line of reason. Being hetero is truly not a choice, because it’s the natural way of things.”

That’s a very heterocentric way of looking at things. Homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality. Look around you, look at nature, look at other creatures. Look at Bonobo chimps, for example – they’re hetero/homo/bi. You’re a believer, right? Then perhaps you could explain why God created such supposed ‘abominations of nature”? Actually, He apparently was quite pleased w/his Creation & declared it good (Genesis). Explain that one too.

If it occurs across species, if it has always existed, it is natural. And, in anticipation of the usual ‘rebuttal’ that ‘pedophilia/incest/bestiality/murder…. have always existed too’, remember: homosexuality hurts no one.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:20:16 +0000

I’m sooo SAD, my lover ( future husbandt – interntional marriage certificate / Wien/Austria) is from Amman (born and rised) and .. we were planing on going in Amman 4 … “winter” … but w’ll go 2 London … … btw, here in Romania , it’s worse …. That’s why … we will flea to Canada , i Think , or who knows …
Stil, I do hope that some day … We’ll be free …
M

By: lovingandleavingjordan

lovingandleavingjordan — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:53:41 +0000

So what’s the deal. I haven’t been back to the country for so long. The country I love to death and I had to leave because I wanted to live my gay life elsewhere. I have been here for couple of weeks now, and I am not seeing any promisses for (living life as a gay person). I honestly don’t care anymore who accepts and who doesn’t, things in my mind a little further than wearing a tight pants or a rainbow jersey. I just want to live a decent life where I know that my family won’t be hurt or humiliated because of who I am, I chose to escape or probably go out of my comfort zone as some are telling me or just go where the grass looks more green and there are colors in the sky..

Guess what, even in the US for me the closet became evenbigger and the world became tighter and smaller.

As a jordanian, I can’t live my life as gay even in the states. How much can I reveal with the internet fast communication and how much more can I lie and how much more anexiety can I live with to cover those lies. I am hiding my significant other from the world and keeping him in the shadow as well, how crule of me and how sweet of him to join me into protecting my identity and what I believe could happen to my family.
(I am not from the upper class) in this part of the country (Jordan) no leather pants are being visulized and there isnt enough rain or sun to cause the rainbow I am longing for.
what happens in rainbow street, that small corky street is a good start, I hope there would be a street in each town in Jordan maybe one day Jordanian Gays and lesbians will live lifes not theirs and their families as well.

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:58:03 +0000

“Sam – I feel sorry that you may dispose of your respect for others with such “discretion”. I possibly try to love and respect all human beings and living creatures” … NOt all creatures deserve respect, so I don’t dish out my respect at first site, but I do give people the benefit of the doubt. Are you trying to tell me that you think Usama bin Laden and Hitler are respect-worthy?? Of course I’m discretionary about who I respect.

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:41:46 +0000

Bambam…. tell me where to sign up. “don’t want to spoil this”!!!! yeah right… you just want the home court advantage… lol. I’m for it.

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:30:49 +0000

“You are the reason places such as Amman, and other parts of the Middle East fail to move forward in terms of viewpoint and perspective” … If this is what “moving forward” is all about. Then I guess I’m ok with being a backward person. P.S. I highly doubt you were “born” gay… but I do believe it is something you can pick up at a very early age if the parents weren’t careful with the way they raise the child. To you it seems you’ve always been gay. But the truth is you weren’t you’ve been only conditioned for it by your surrounding environment. And what I mean by my comment about “carnal encounters with animals” which I now apologies for because in hindsight I can see how offensive it way… what I meant was that some people who might feel other kinds of sexual tendencies that are frowned upon by society, straight men by nature lust for younger women, but you don’t find civil rights groups rallying for their rights to make out with teenage girls. I’m not saying there are no Gays, and although I highly doubt it – I don’t emphatically deny that a person might be born with gay-ish tendencies. but some desires shouldn’t be indulged… This is what it boils down to. No matter what you say, a guy sleeping with another guy is unnatural. The fact that there are people who like to do it , doesn’t make it natural.

By: Matt

Matt — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:47:13 +0000

Sam,
You really have no idea. There will always be a minority, and it is not about choice. Some people are born with blue eyes, some with brown, some blonde, some dark, some gay, some straight. It’s the way of the world and we should celebrate diversity.
You are the reason places such as Amman, and other parts of the Middle East fail to move forward in terms of viewpoint and perspective. I was reading the threads on this website with so much interest, until I got to your narrow opinions.
It is great to see Israelis and Jordanians & other internationals writing and expressing emotions and point of view.
Isn’t it the essence of life that we may learn to love one another, and to respect each other as long as nobody is hurt.
Progress may be small but significant. A big heads up to the gay community in Amman, to Books@Cafe and to all of us who are not so small minded that we can’t see the good in all human beings.
I am a gay man, born this way, and not through choice. I love life, people, and Amman.
Be happy.

By: Anas

Anas — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:20:07 +0000

Sam – I feel sorry that you may dispose of your respect for others with such “discretion”. I possibly try to love and respect all human beings and living creatures. If they are here and if they were born or created by the Creator (assuming we are believers) it will certainly be not myself to judge which among them deserve to be here and whioh ones do not: this goes beyond my human faculties and capacities and even “rights”.

As far as “fornicating” (I would usually use the term “making love”, fornicating sounds so clinical, but maybe you are a doctor, and it also sounds so much conservative, puritan and victorian and by now we knnow very well that the characteristic of most victorians was hypocrisy…) between man and man, between woman and woman, between man and womam, between woman and man, there are so many possible combinations that reducing it to a “plus + plus” or a “minus + minus” or a “plus + minus” experience shows a certain lack of phantasy to say the least. A man or a woman can be at times positive at times negative, making love does not necessarily imply penetration…, I will not go into deeper details as we are all adults around here and I suppose we all know about these things. Making love is about tenderness, sweetness, kindness, it has very very little to do with sub-atomic bombs…

Though I thank you very much for spending your time inb this very civil discussion. I appreciate it truly. A “straight guy” (isn’t that reductive calling you a straghit guy just because “you chose” lassie instead of lad…) discussing aobut weirdos stuff…: progressive, ground-breaking… A person is a person and you shall never, I suppose, reduce them to just what they do in bed. And as far as that it is concerned one can be proudly a gay without having ever actually slept with anyone…, and a boy who forces himself to go out with girls all the time nevertheless will not necessarily become a “straight” guy…

Please, do not make comparisons or equations between homosexuality and pedophilia, the two things are completely apart. A heterosexual can be a pedophile just as a homosexual… and in most cases, the news show it, pedophiles go indifferently with kids of both sexes, unfortunately and very sadly. A pathology is a pathology, homosexuality is at large not considered a pathology anymore. At times “homosexuals beings” became unbalanced due to social condamnation and social exclusion, they became mad due to social ostracism, terror and fear, not because they were crazy before. They were condemned because they fell out of established “social codes” but social codes vary from place to place and from age to age, and the three Abrahanic religions are not the only religions in this world. I talk religions as mainly it is religious codes and rules that influence social behaviour. But there are more tolerant religions under this sun.

Do excuse me if I forced your hand, I did not mean to, and I do not mean to force your head either, on the contrary, as I said before I enjoy civil conversation.

All the best wishes.

By: bambam

bambam — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:42:29 +0000

And oh …shame on anas for forcing your hand he truly shouldn’t, we all know that your morals and instincts are derived purely out of your own ijtihad and they aren’t just copy past of the morals of your religion and culture…. 3eyb ya anas ! how dare you argue with him rationally, it is his right to make sure that there aren’t “homos” looking to stick things up his poo poo hole because you know that’s all they do !
for the record since you asked, i haven’t seen positive and negative charges screwing and having lil pos and neg children after nine months either…. although i’ve seen them eradicating each other does that apply ?
Now sammy boy if you can actually hold your own in an argument, religious or otherwise, you can come over mine and i promise to take you just a bit more seriously …. i don’t want to spoil this space.
if you want to know a thing or a two about the subject you can read up a bit http://bambamworld.com/blog/?p=271

By: Sam

Sam — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 05:59:33 +0000

Anas – Believe me I respect myself and the majority of human beings just fine (some I believe do not deserve my respect), and I enjoy life and I’m very outspoken on women rights and religious tolerance/dialog, I’m pro life and pro choice at the same time (meaning on a case by case basis), among other things. But when a person tells me that being gay is not a choice just like being hetero is not a choice; that is where I draw the line of reason. Being hetero is truly not a choice, because it’s the natural way of things. You don’t see negative charges fornicating with other negative charges, do you? Unless of course You’re trying to make some kind of sub-atomic bomb.
Now I admit a person can become gay such that when he makes that conversion being hetero stops being a choice. Homosexual is something you become, not something you are. People who practice pedophilia would often argue they just can’t help it, and that they just can’t get themselves to like “older” individuals. Does that make what they do any less “unnatural”?
As for Israeli’s, you say “Israeli leaves a positive comment on Jordan it means fortunately he is not intolerant, he has non prejudices against the Arabs” Well thank God!!! He took my country from my by force, but hey, hey has nothing against me!!! I’m so flattered!!! I’m not talking about Jews, mind you… do don’t think my beef with the Israeli’s is a religious one.
And please, no need to bring Allah into this. He never said its ok to be gay… in fact, all three monotheistic religions tell us that homosexuality brought God’s wrath on complete cities. Now I wasn’t going to argue this from a religious perspective, I was speaking merely from a moralistic and instinctual point of view, but you forced my hand.

By: Enrique S.

Enrique S. — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:08:13 +0000

I will be returning to AMMAN at the end of May for two weeks. It is so sad that RGB is gone. I always looked forward to being comfortable and seeing so many gay men together.

I sure hope that something happens or that I.D. will think of something by the time I will be there! I had the best time when I was there. So Iwill go to Booksaat. In fact I really loved that whole place…and the atmosphere.

Well…that’s all I wanted to say…except I adore Jordan and can’t wait to return to visit my friends~!